Loving The Leotards
The Age
Wednesday August 13, 2008
IN A Brunswick warehouse, 15 women in leotards, wigs and legwarmers are rolling around on the floor while Def Leppard's Pour Some Sugar On Me thunders from the stereo.
As the song reaches its crescendo - "I'm hot, sticky sweet, from my head to my feet" - the group rise to their knees and begin air guitaring, strumming their leotard-clad thighs. If you Google the phrase "Real Hot Bitches", one of the few family-friendly websites you will find is that of the Wellington-based dance troupe of the same name, which recently started a chapter in Melbourne.The Wellington Real Hot Bitches are famous for holding the world record for synchronised dancing - 2843 people danced at the city's Cuba Street Festival to Bon Jovi's Shot through the Heart, (leotards optional), in February 2007. The group was founded by Wellington resident and bitch mistress Angela Meyer, aka Candy Le Coque, who got sick of dancing alone to '80s music in her bedroom and decided to seek a wider audience. Now two of the Wellington RHB troupe, Miss Molly Moonshine and Shanaenae Holden - who want to be known only by their "bitching names" - have moved to Melbourne and brought the phenomenon with them. According to the pair, "bitching" (or "buttchun" if you pronounce it with clipped New Zealand vowels), is where Dirty Dancing meets Flashdance meets dancing in your lounge when you were 11.Bitches dance to '80s music wearing G-string, stretch-fabric leotards, stone-washed denim, scrunchies, wigs, fluoro, leg warmers, stilettos, elastic belts, hair gel and candy-coloured plastic accessories - all at the same time. Male bitches might don a unitard, mesh T-shirt, hotpants, visor, bling, a pair of Don Johnson zip-up shoes and a shell suit. The more animal print, the better: animal print is bitchin'."It's about having confidence, having a dance and reclaiming the word 'bitch' to make it a positive thing - we're sick of all the rappers with their bitches and hos," Moonshine says.Men and women of all ages, genders and sizes can be bitches, and ability to dance is not a prerequisite."Normally you just get twig-thin people at dance classes, but if you think you're a real hot bitch, then you are," Holden says. "It's about having lots of fun, and there's no pressure to perform. If you want to, you can just come here once a week and look totally hot." Bitchography favourites include '80s greats such as Run DMC's Walk This Way, Venus by Bananarama, Poison by Alice Cooper and Salt-n-Pepa's Push It. Prince is especially bitchin'. After a short warm-up, the Brunswick troupe's head bitches take it in turns to lead the group through dance choreographies. Most incorporate old-school dance moves that involve graphically acting out the lyrics: - "Shot through the heart" (arms thrown high above head) "And you're to blame" (hand on heart), "You give love a bad name" (sneer and point).Some of the routines are more technical than others, but if in doubt, bitches can always slip back into a simple air guitar move. Holden and Moonshine have performed at gigs around Melbourne, but hope to build up a core group of about 20 bitches that can become a Melbourne alt-institution.They might even join in the next world record attempt in Wellington in September, when the NZ RHBs hope to get 10,000 people to dance with them.Record attempts, as they say, are bitchin'.
© 2008 The Age
